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GenerativeNLP Newsletter Issue 3
Real life dilemmas. Solved.
Dilemma 3: I'm scared of letting go of control
Not having complete control over how things work out can be a very scary thing, especially when you'd been used to controlling every aspect of your life previously (or at least under the illusion that you were :-)).
The loss of control that I am writing about specifically this month, is the type that occurs when a person enters into a relationship with someone else, and chooses to allow the other person to be the main provider (although the tips below are generic to other situations too).
For previous generations this dilemma probably never occurred. If I think for example about my parents, it was a given that Dad worked as necessary to keep the roof over our head and food on the table, while mum took care of other things. However, times have changed, and women nowadays are accustomed to financial independence and the security that comes from that. To hand that over to someone else upon marriage (all be it, willingly!), can take a bit of getting used to, and it certainly requires a strong stomach at times!
Here are a few tips to help you with the dilemma of letting go of control:-
Put your attention on controlling how you feel inside, instead of wanting to control how things are on the outside
If you've been used to being in the driving seat, and circumstances have changed, there's going to be a lot of surplus energy knocking around in you. Try channeling that energy into controlling how you feel on the inside instead. Get to know how you are when you are at your best and standing strong, and focus your attention on being this way more and more of the time.
Life is chaotic and unpredictable
If I were asked to provide a definition of life, it would include something about chaos and unpredictability. I'm yet to meet anyone whose life has been a smooth ride all the way, so you may as well accept this about life, and ride the waves willingly!
A true hero is the one who chooses the path less traveled and enters the wilderness
There will be moments of fear, uncertainty and despair, but amongst it all, is the knowing that somehow, the journey you're on, is perfectly matched to you. And the further into the wilderness you venture, the more you notice how much you are learning and changing for the better.