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GenerativeNLP Newsletter Issue 8
Real life dilemmas. Solved.
Dilemma 8: "I dig myself into an even deeper hole when I realize I've made a mistake about something, but won't admit it to the other person"
Swallowing your pride. Being big enough to own up. What ever term you use, the act of dropping your defences and being vulnerable to another person is the subject of this months real life dilemma.
Here's the scenario...You realize that you're up to your neck again in your own BS, and rather than loose face, you shovel more of the brown stuff into the hole you've created. If this happens to you, it's most likely because you don't have concious control of your defence mechanism. At the slightest sign of threat, your armour comes up, your linguistic knives are sharpened, and you're ready for battle. We could hypothosize why this happens...perhaps because of existing in a previously hostile environment where it really was necessary for your survival (e.g. in a particular job, or amongst a certain social group), but figuring out "why" doesn't really matter. Much more useful (we think so at least!) is to begin to orient yourself toward the future that you want to be having.
We'll begin by highlighting the many positive things that begin to unfold between people when each is able to say to the other "you know what, I've made a mistake" or "you know what, I actually don't know". We'll then look at the qualities that are present in a person who is able to reveal themself in this way, and finish up with a few techniques to help you develop those qualities.
The alternative reality that's just a decision away
Give yourself permission to trust that you are in an environment where it's perfectly safe to say "I've made a mistake", "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". When you do, the following things begin to take shape:
* Your relationships are strengthened
These are just some of the positive things that begin to unfold when you *don't* view getting it wrong, or not knowing, as a weakness that could lead to your downfall.
The qualities of a person who is this way
Top tips on how to develop some of these qualities