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I Feel Lonely
Friday, 29 February 2008 | Admin
What a strange thing it is. To be amongst people, and yet to feel lonely.
I'm speaking about a very specific kind of loneliness. It's the type that comes about when you're with people who have a different outlook on life than you.
Further still, it's the kind of loneliness that's felt when these people try to impose their beliefs on you, and where you say nothing, for what ever reason.
If you've attended MythoSelf Process trainings, NLP trainings, or engaged in other forms of personal development, you may have a sense of what I mean. Or perhaps you've always been different to other folk ;-) - in your beliefs and behaviours - and this leaves you feeling lonely at times.
This month I'll be exploring what's possibly going on beneath the surface when you're with people yet feeling lonely, and offering some ways to help you feel differently in this situation.
What has to be true of you when you're feeling lonely?
This might sound like I'm pointing out the obvious, but the first is that you sense a separation between you and the other person. When "all's well" there's a connection present between you and them that permeates the interaction.
The second is that the connection between you and "greater than self" is broken. By "greater than self" I'm referring to g-d, or nature, or what ever else signifies the thing which deep down you know you are a part of. When that connection is present, loneliness can not exist.
The third thing that may be true of you is that you think the other person is wrong in their outlook, and you are right in yours. This might foster feelings of annoyance, insult or pity.
The fourth is that you're most probably doing a bit of mind reading on the situation. Their intentions may be a far cry from what you think (i.e. they aren't trying to impose their beliefs on you at all).
And finally, it's most likely to be fear that's stopping you from speaking your mind (should you want to).
Things you can do differently
- Get into the habit of reminding yourself that much of what's going on in your mind is an illusion. In other words, you're making it up. Someone says something to you, and you add in things that weren't actually said, delete things that were said, and distort things that were said to fit your expectations.
- Appreciate the fact the other person is saying / doing the best they know. Having this kind of humanity will help you stay connected.
- There are no right and wrong beliefs so don't feel attacked (and subsequently lonely) if someone's beliefs don't happen to match yours. View opposing beliefs as a learning opportunity instead. An opportunity to learn how other people think.
- When in a situation that you know could lead to you feeling lonely, remind yourself that you're part of some greater miracle and never really alone.
- Repeat to yourself "Put The Donkey Down". The more quickly that you're able to move on from an exchange that bothered you, the better you'll feel.
- Stop thinking you're "being nice" by politely smiling and nodding. It's not nice at all.
To close, I think that feeling lonely is a victim mentality position. To be lonely amongst other people, requires a "poor me" frame of mind which is bound to lead to feelings of loneliness.
Try confronting the fears that were trapping you in the victim position by asking yourself "what's the best that could happen?", and in that frame of mind, speak up!
|Articles, News, Events|
Monday, 31 May 2010 | Admin
After a pause to start our family the newsletter will begin again in June 2010. Packed with "insider" information from the Mythosphere!
Sunday, 21 March 2010 | Admin
NLP weekend trainings in Kingston...
Tuesday, 22 December 2009 | Admin
It's been a labour of love but we're there! The Collected Papers of Joseph Riggio 1999-2009 are now available. Please take a look in out store under eBooks...
Monday, 5 October 2009 | AdminJoin Dr. Joseph Riggio for the Mytho IV - MythoSelf Advanced Facilitator Training
October 10/11 and November 14/15, 2009 in Teddington, Surrey, UK
NOTE: This is the only Mytho IV - MythoSelf Advanced Facilitator's Training program scheduled for 2009/2010 with Dr. Joseph Riggio - be sure you make plans to be there and get the updates to the MythoSelf model, then get your practice moving forward ...
Monday, 5 October 2009 | Admin
Take a look at Joseph's MP3 Download products. Yours to own in just a few clicks!
Tuesday, 4 November 2008 | AdminI'm sure there's a whole bunch of people who, having read the above headline, are now simply wanting to know "When and Where exactly, and How Do I Book".
For those of you that this applies to, the specifics are:
8th December in Surbiton, Surrey. To book, call Charles Moore on +44-20-8974-8974 or email him at email@example.com I know this will be of secondary interest to you folks, but the name of the event is Personal Enhancement Seminar.
Monday, 3 November 2008 | Admin
Real Life Dilemma: I feel vulnerable if I stick a stake in the ground, and as that's a feeling I'm not so used to, I tend to avoid it!
Over the past few weeks I've been lulling my baby girl to sleep with the heady combination of "booba" and a Joseph Riggio DVD. It's the DVD set from the Intentional Performance training that took place in Denmark a while back. In it Joseph presents the idea of "sticking a stake in the ground". He endlessly demonstrates this position by giving his views on subjects such as the US elections and the situation in Iraq, without couching them in language that would dilute their impact.
Saturday, 1 November 2008 | Admin
December 8th 2008 Joseph is running his Personal Enhancement Seminar
Wednesday, 1 October 2008 | Admin
One of the major distinctions between average performers and star performers, is their belief system. We're all a product of the mental programming that we were subjected to during childhood. People of influence, such as parents and teachers, were the primary architects of our early belief systems. Unfortunately, because many of those people had limiting beliefs themselves, what they passed on was limiting. That's why average people are saddled with a set of beliefs that are more about survival than success. They have been programmed with a "fit in and play it safe" mentality.
Monday, 1 September 2008 | Admin"MythoSelf-ers" Take Risks!
Your average person on the street is risk averse. They've been taught that to make it through life in one piece, play it safe and be thankful they have a roof over their head. "Stay below the radar and you won't get hurt," seems to be their world view...
Thursday, 31 July 2008 | AdminMy nearest and dearest are the ones who really know how to rattle my cage. Everything can be going along nicely and then the look comes at me from across the table. Before I'm able to do anything about it, I find myself overcome with annoyance. From this point forth it all goes south, and the question becomes "how quickly can I reset?"
(To reset, I quickly take myself back through the exercises that I've presented so far in this newsletter thread).
But wouldn't it be nice to not "lose it" in the first place? To have the awareness and skill to be able to change the course of events before they go horribly wrong?
This month I'm going to be presenting an exercise to help you do just that. It's a variation of exercise number 5 of the MythoSelf Process, called "Limiting the Limitations"...
Tuesday, 1 July 2008 | AdminIntroduction
Over the past few issues I've been leading you through the MythoSelf Process as applied to the issue of "My life feels empty and hollow".
As a reminder, I chose this particular issue because providing a practical "in the world" resolution to the existential longing that people suffer in modern society, is at the heart of what the MythoSelf Process is all about, and I want to demonstrate to you how I think this is so.
The other reason I've chosen this thread is because I'd like to do by bit to demystify the MythoSelf Process and make it more accessible to people who are searching with the personal development field.
While the exercises aren't totally true to those presented in a face to face training, if applied with commitment and diligence they do serve the purposes outlined above.
It's great when you're having one of those days where it seems you just can't put a foot down wrong, but how about when your chips are down and you're feeling the walls crumble around you? ...
Friday, 30 May 2008 | Admin
Wednesday, 30 April 2008 | AdminIntroduction
I don't claim to know whether things going right on the outside (e.g. having time for a good cup of tea before leaving the house, having a run of green lights all the way into work, finding that your boss is out of the office for the day ...) is what causes people to have a good day, or whether it comes about as a result of a concerted effort from the individual to enter into a good frame of mind.
Perhaps it's both.
What I do know though, is that it's possible for a person to influence how they feel by where they put their attention...
Friday, 18 April 2008 | Admin"Raising Successful Kids In A Stressful, Competitive World"
April 26th - One Day Only!
10am - 4pm
Harpenden House Hotel, Harpenden, Herts
Tuesday, 1 April 2008 | AdminThe real life dilemma that I've chosen for this month is one that I plan to run with for a few issues. This is because I intend to take you through various exercises that I think deliver greater results if applied over a period of time.
I've chosen this particular dilemma for a couple of reasons.
The first is because providing a practical "in the world" resolution to the existential longing that people suffer in modern society. is at the heart of what the MythoSelf Process is all about, and I want to demonstrate to you how I think this is so.
The second reason is because I'd like to do by bit to demystify the MythoSelf Process and make it more accessible to people who are searching with the personal development field ...
Friday, 1 February 2008 | AdminMy 4 month old daughter taught me this lesson while cooking along live to Gordon Ramsey on the TV the other week.
Funny how a learning suddenly sinks in. (What's that saying about being able to take a horse to water .... ;->)
Anyhow, thanks to a drive to get the nation cooking and my daughter's presence, I've learnt that being intentional in my actions elicits cooperation from others. Let me explain ...
Thursday, 13 December 2007 | AdminIt would be easy for me to begin this months real life dilemma with an in depth exploration into why hasn't been so easy (for me .. and perhaps for you too) to quickly let go and move on when civilized communication has turned into war.
But I won't start there because doing so isn't particularly in keeping with the MythoSelf Process. Plus it would be doing the very thing that actually causes what we want to avoid - i.e. going over what's already happened, processessing, festering, justifying and ultimately dragging things out is not conducive to letting go and moving on quickly.
Instead I'm going to be entirely solution focused and I'll get right down to offering some tips and techniques to help you with letting go and moving on quickly ...
Wednesday, 28 November 2007 | Admin
This month's "Real Life Dilemma" is guaranteed to get the goat up in anyone who is on the receiving end of it. Asking someone for their input, and then doing your own thing anyway can result in a fall-out of titanic proportions.
I'll be presenting a scenario to illustrate this type of dilemma; exploring the tactics that are in play during such an exchange, and providing some tips on how to avoid this being a stressor in your relationships...
Wednesday, 31 October 2007 | Admin
Ever watched those movies where just at the point of crisis a super hero shows up and makes every thing good? For some people, the equivalent of the Hollywood super hero does come to the rescue, but for most we are left to figure out our own way out of the fire.This "Real Life Dilemma" aims to provide some tips and techniques to help you be your own super hero at those times in your life when you really don't think things could get any more difficult ...
Sunday, 30 September 2007 | Admin
How can it be that I can barely remember anything about a good 10 years of my life? It's not as if I've been in an accident and suffered memory loss, and neither is it because I didn't do anything during that time worth remembering. Quite the contrary, I actually did a great deal of traveling, visiting 2 or 3 different countries a year most years. I moved house a couple of times, moved job a couple of times. Hardly an uneventful 10 years! Yet I have great difficultly recalling anything with any great detail.
This month's real life dilemma will explore what's possibly going on to cause this comatose state, and what you can do to prevent it happening.
Friday, 31 August 2007 | Admin
We are out of the office due to the birth of our first child!
Tuesday, 31 July 2007 | Admin
Which of these applies to YOU? I can't make up my mind...I don't know what I really want...How will I know for sure...But in the past it's always been...
This is a weekend training that will teach you a very particular way of being in the world where making decisions comes easy and life just works.
Sunday, 1 July 2007 | Admin
Joseph Riggio products haven't always been that easy to come by, but NOW THEY ARE! We are carrying his full product range and because we've just restocked, availability is good - visit our store.
Sunday, 1 July 2007 | Admin
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