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I Feel Lonely
29 February 2008 | Admin
What a strange thing it is. To be amongst people, and yet to feel lonely.
I'm speaking about a very specific kind of loneliness. It's the type that comes about when you're with people who have a different outlook on life than you.
Further still, it's the kind of loneliness that's felt when these people try to impose their beliefs on you, and where you say nothing, for what ever reason.
If you've attended MythoSelf Process trainings, NLP trainings, or engaged in other forms of personal development, you may have a sense of what I mean. Or perhaps you've always been different to other folk ;-) - in your beliefs and behaviours - and this leaves you feeling lonely at times.
This month I'll be exploring what's possibly going on beneath the surface when you're with people yet feeling lonely, and offering some ways to help you feel differently in this situation.
What has to be true of you when you're feeling lonely?
This might sound like I'm pointing out the obvious, but the first is that you sense a separation between you and the other person. When "all's well" there's a connection present between you and them that permeates the interaction.
The second is that the connection between you and "greater than self" is broken. By "greater than self" I'm referring to g-d, or nature, or what ever else signifies the thing which deep down you know you are a part of. When that connection is present, loneliness can not exist.
The third thing that may be true of you is that you think the other person is wrong in their outlook, and you are right in yours. This might foster feelings of annoyance, insult or pity.
The fourth is that you're most probably doing a bit of mind reading on the situation. Their intentions may be a far cry from what you think (i.e. they aren't trying to impose their beliefs on you at all).
And finally, it's most likely to be fear that's stopping you from speaking your mind (should you want to).
Things you can do differently
To close, I think that feeling lonely is a victim mentality position. To be lonely amongst other people, requires a "poor me" frame of mind which is bound to lead to feelings of loneliness.
Try confronting the fears that were trapping you in the victim position by asking yourself "what's the best that could happen?", and in that frame of mind, speak up!